The Secret Sauce of Life.

It’s Mid-January so chances are most of us have set our infamous “New Year’s Resolutions” for the year and are chipping away trying to stay on an invisible track to hit these personal goals, or kicking bad habits we do not love about ourselves. 

Since we are 2 weeks into 2020  I am going to almost  bet that more than half of us are starting to slide a little bit, and we will decide to take a mulligan now, and then in February we will press the reset button again and do better.  This cycle will go on and on until before we know it is November and we will throw in the towel and start strong again in January.  Please know that this is not the case for all, but if you are like me you can whole-heartedly relate.  I have been doing this cycle for over 25 years now, and I’m kind of over it. 

 I knew I would never succeed,  so it is exactly why I did not set a resolution to lose weight, eat less carbs, stop drinking soda, drink less wine, increase my water intake, stop swearing, spend less, exercise more, stop buying sheet cakes just because etc.  Let’s face it, these “RESOLUTIONS” never really work unless you have a strong foundation,  and trust me there is always an occasion for a little bit of sheet cake.  

 Instead of setting resolutions that I will never achieve, I set some basic life intentions for not just 2020 but for the rest of my life. I call 2020 the beginning of my 4-H foundation.  No, I am not talking about starting up an adult version of  the actual 4-H to better my understanding of agriculture,  although I do believe I could find enjoyment in that.

 My 4-H foundation or the year of “H” has my life values at  it’s epicenter.  All in a good way without elimination of things that make me happy. It is based on a simple concept of life balance.  I am tired of the coined “work/ life balance” so I am going to just say “life balance”. Isn’t work is a large part of our life?

 4H= Health, Happiness, Humble Heart, Harmony,  

These aren’t just words,  these are my hopes and goals for not just myself but for my family and friends. In a society that we are running around with so much to do day-in and day-out.  We let the simplest things slide to the side and before we know it another day, week, money, year has passed.  I am now at the mid-point  of my life and I have made a very strong decision instead of my day controlling me, I am taking control of my day literally. I’m setting my boundaries, my timeframes. I am not going to continue to feel that I am missing out from things, or made to feel guilty because of my choices,  I am making choices that put me, my goals, my family and friends first.   The great Bon Jovi said it best “It’s My Life”.   

 Health:

Somethings with health we can control, some we cannot.  We can control what we put into our bodies, we can control our schedules to make time to get exercise, sleep, to mediate.  The things I can control I am going to fully take ownership.  I am going to take the time to get my sleep, to get my exercise, to make a healthy meal, to take a vacation for my mental health.   I am tired of creating excuses or even hearing others excuses as not having time.  I’m calling BS on that.  We do not have time because we are packing our schedules so full that we are not creating that time.  Instead of saying no, we are saying yes.

 Happiness:  

For the most part we control our own happiness.  Do more of what you like and less of what you don’t like.  People are usually unhappy because of their circumstances or circumstances that they have created.   Most people actually do have control of their circumstances.   If you are unhappy with your career you should change it.  If you are bombarded with obligations to others, say no. Youu are a good a person and you are extremely selfless  however you must get some secret joy out of being a martyr.  But seriously now  just stop it, and carve out “YOU” time.  I personally give a lot, because I truly do enjoy giving and volunteering, however I know when enough is enough, and when I have to say no because I want to do something else that I get more happiness from. 

Humble:

Staying humble.  I have taught my kids that success is really great, however success also can come with a price tag of even more obligations, commitments, and also some sense of being better than you used to be.  While that is all fine and great and somewhat good for your self-esteem it can  also make a very good human turn them into a Super ego.  Stay humble remember where you started and what drove you to that success in whatever facet of life. Chances are your success was a combination of hard work, personal sacrifice, and also just being a really good human.  Don’t get too big for yourself. 

 Harmony:

This is the one that is my personal favorite.  Harmony is about several pieces coming together in unison to form a pleasing combination.   In life that translates into being able to have the career, the family, the healthy lifestyle, the personal life that includes vacations, friendships, personal hobbies, and actual outlets of happiness.  

 Harmony to me is the secret sauce of life.  You can have it all.   You can do it  all.  Just plan your life calendar accordingly.  This year I am setting my own boundaries, saying yes to more things, and saying no to others.   The guilt that comes with “I really should do this or that”  is not even welcome in my world anymore.   This year I have chosen myself and my life as my intention and I have strong feeling that this might be the best decade yet.